you would pick up someone in the library
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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