when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Everclear isn't food dammit
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
