4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So much rum. So many feels.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
