why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
