I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
