did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize