hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
