this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
