My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
