I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize