Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize