I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What drink are we having for lunch?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
