Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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