Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
