***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
