love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize