did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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