you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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