glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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