Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
