she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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