Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
