and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
