Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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