even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
