i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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