Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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