hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
