Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
