My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i came on her dog
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
