that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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