it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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