this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
