go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Vodka?
Forever.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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