i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
