i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
worst night to have a conscience
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
