okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
