Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
