mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
