He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
