The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
