Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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