I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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