i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
