Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish i was in the wii world.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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