you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
