I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
