How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The struggles of a small town man whore
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize