She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It's rum buckets o'clock
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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