Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
