News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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