babies were throwing up all over the place
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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