And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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