Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
