I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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