she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
