You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
