i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
