Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
