...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
