i already hear my dad disowning me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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