All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize