chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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