I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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