I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
