...so i touched it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
