he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
