better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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