You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
