Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
