Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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