How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
