Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
