marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize