there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i dont even know how to be here
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
