what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
