is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize